


The Five Stages of Grief

by emohippogriff



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: M/M, anderperry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:53:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emohippogriff/pseuds/emohippogriff
Summary: In which Todd Anderson goes through the five stages of grief after he loses Neil Perry..
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The Five Stages of Grief

##  **D E N I A L**

There was no way that Neil Perry left him. He wouldn't do that to Todd.

They were friends, maybe even more, who knows?

On December 15, 1959, Todd Anderson lost the best person he had ever met.

He didn't believe it. When Charlie Dalton woke him up that night and told him, Todd thought that it was all bullshit, until he saw the tears on Charlie's face, but a part of him still wouldn’t believe it.

Todd was confused. He was confused as to why Neil would do this. It doesn’t make sense. Neil loved life. At least the life he lived when his father wasn’t around.

He concluded that the Dead Poets were just pulling some stupid prank on him.

When Todd first saw Neil’s body, his instant reaction was to wake him up. Just like he used to all those mornings in their dorm room, not wanting any of them to miss their first class.

Todd put his hand on Neil’s shoulder, ignoring the injury on Neil’s head, and shook him, “Neil! Todd wanted this horror to end

He prayed, begged, pleaded, urged, beseeched, and yearned to have Neil back.

Neil, wake up, c’mon this isn’t funny!” Nothing happened, so Todd shook him harder with both hands now, “Get up, Neil!” Nothing.

The other Poets had to pull Todd away. He was crying and screaming and begging for this sick nightmare to end, but it wouldn’t.

Todd knew that Neil was a great actor, but he wouldn’t put him through this type of torture, would he?

##  **A N G E R**

Todd Anderson was furious.

How dare he leave him?

The one person who made Todd happy, left him.

Neil left Todd all alone in this wretched place. Sure, he had Charlie, Knox, Pitts, and Meeks, but he wasn’t as close to them as he was to Neil. What Todd and Neil had was beautiful.

They were more loyal and passionate towards each other than any couple was.

Todd was angry at Thomas Perry.

The one who caused all of this.

Todd _ hated _ him.

He knew that “hate” is a strong word, but it wasn’t strong enough for Todd.

Loathed, despised, abhorred and any other resentful word Todd could think of.

Todd never felt this much hate towards any person.

He thought he hated his own father the most, but Mr. Perry won that position.

Todd wanted the older man to suffer.

Just like Todd did.

Todd was mad at the Dead Poets.

They let Neil’s death slide away, just like that?

He couldn’t believe them.

They knew him much longer than Todd had, but they simply moved on.

Charlie was different though, he was affected almost as bad as Todd was.

But Charlie only lost his best friend, not the guy he was in love with.

Todd was angry at Cameron for ratting out the Dead Poets and making Mr. Keating lose his job.

Todd was angry at himself.

He should’ve stopped Mr. Perry from taking Neil away from him.

But he didn’t.

##  **B A R G A I N I N G**

Todd wanted this horror to end

He prayed, begged, pleaded, urged, beseeched, and yearned.

He just wanted Neil back.

He hoped that this was all a nightmare and he would wake up to Neil alive and well.

He wanted everything to go back to the way it was before.

He wanted to go back to the days when he would help Neil practice his lines for the play in the afternoon on the dock and a few hours later they would both sneak out and go to the Indian Cave for their Dead Poets Society meetings.

##  **D E P R E S S I O N**

To say that Todd Anderson was depressed would be an understatement.

He couldn’t do anything without thinking of Neil.

And when he thought of Neil, he sobbed until he had no tears left to cry.

He couldn’t sleep in his dorm.

He couldn’t eat.

He couldn’t walk outside.

He couldn’t go to the Dead Poets Society meetings.

He couldn’t go to his classes.

Of course, he eventually got better, but not completely.

Todd lost his other half, his soulmate, the sun in his life.

No one could ever compare to Neil Perry.

##  **A C C E P T A N C E**

Todd Anderson never made it to this stage.


End file.
